Welcome to Hapdorn!
—a tourist brochure

Although Hapdorn is the largest city in the Imperial Duchy of Thorgelfayne, it is certainly not a metropolis by world standards! In fact, in many countries, a city of its size would scarcely be considered a center of commerce and learning. Yet because it is our nation’s capital, Hapdorn has earned its motto: “Homeland’s Most Cosmopolitan Village.”

Hapdorn: A Nice Place to Live

Hapdorn is perched on a mountainside in the spectacular Ranka Range overlooking the Harji river valley. Hapdorn’s sister city of Barlamon is located on the opposite side of the valley, and is visible from most parts of our community. Because Hapdorn is relatively small, we don’t have to travel far for recreation in the wilds; and we don’t have to travel at all for majestic mountain scenery!

Hapdorn’s Climate

Because Hapdorn is protected on the south by the slopes of the Ranka Range, the warm northern sun gives us a moderate climate in all five seasons. Summer is generally very mild and not too humid, with temperatures rarely exceeding 95 degrees Halakanian. Autumn is crisp and exhilarating; while winters are mercifully short (there are usually less than half a sixteen moderate snowfalls each year, with no lasting ground cover). Blue is short and furious; bringing with it high winds, blue buds, Hugmups, and much rain. Spring is a veritable celebration of glorious colors, since Hapdorn, like all of central Thorgelfayne, possesses a large number of flowering plants.

Hapdorn’s location means fresh, crisp mountain air; cool mornings and evenings and mild days. Take warm clothing if your excursion will last past dusk! Even the natives find the climate exhilarating!

Hapdorn’s People

Aside from students and an insignificant number of foreign and extra-Homelander residents, the ethnic makeup of Hapdorn’s population is overwhelmingly Thorgelfaynese—characterized by black eyes, black or dark brown kinky hair, and deep brown skin. Like most central and southern Thorgelfaynese, most of us Hapdorners are taller and slenderer than our Lakeshore countrymen.

We share our most famous trait with all Thorgelfaynese: the “Thorgelfayne Lilt”! Though we are scarcely aware of it ourselves, most visitors find our speech enchantingly musical.

The Hep Dern: a Short History of Hapdorn

Hapdorn’s earliest history is lost in the mists of time, but the first sound recordings of community activities date from the year 370D, when the newly invented devices had first gained widespread use in this part of the world. At that time, the area occupied by modern Hapdorn was the site of six villages. (The name “Hapdorn” is a corrupted form of hep dern, the “six villages.” ) On the basis of the recordings, which are mainly the protocols of village meetings, most archaeologists agree that the area had been settled for quite some time.

In 388F, Hapdorn found itself in the middle of a struggle among the immature clans of pre-Thorgelfayne. Petty disputes and misunderstandings flared up into a full-scale war, which climaxed in the tragic death of peace emissaries from both sides, when their automobiles plunged them to their deaths in the Larshtek Ravine. The War of the Fayne ended in the Treaty of the Hep Dern and the institution of the Thorgel Fayne (Oath of Friendship). The hep dern were made the administrative capital of the new nation, but because of the influx of commerce and government, they soon grew together to form the city that we know in the modern world of the 4590s.

Hapdorn has grown to be not just the administrative capital of all who swear the Thorgel Fayne, but also the center of learning and education; first for Thorgelfayne, then the world, and even beyond. Modern Hapdorn, as well as the surrounding province by the same name, is renowned throughout the Spiral Arm for its institutions of higher learning.

Because of Hapdorn’s intellectual treasures, Thorgelfayne is the only country which exports education profitably.

Interesting Places to See

Hapdorn has an amazing number of interesting sites for the visitor, despite its small size. For your convenience, we’ve listed a few of the more popular attractions here:

Snodgrass University

Snodgrass University was the first institution of higher learning to be chartered by the Duke of Thorgelfayne. Its entire history (over three thousand, three hundred years) has been characterized by academic excellence. At Snodgrass, the first practical television was demonstrated, the DNA code was first cracked, and it was here that the theoretical basis for Homelander interstellar spaceflight was first formulated, based upon the inspiration of our Zerpicker discoverers. Because of this last accomplishment, Snodgrass became the world center of extra-Homelander studies.

Of particular interest to the tourist are:

Downtown Hapdorn

Most tourists find the ambiance of the downtown area quite agreeable. There is a large variety of specialty shops, as well as harngedern (cafés) where busy sightseers can rest their feet. Many of the “pocket parks” have interesting monuments:

Of course, the serious student of Thorgelfaynese history cannot overlook the Ducal Complex! This complex of historic buildings, painstakingly preserved against the ravages of time, contain the entire history of our beloved Duchy. They include: the Ducal Residence (now ceremonial), the ancient Guild Halls, the Amphitheater of the Fayne, and a number of important museums devoted to various aspects of our history.

Greater Hapdorn

In the suburbs you’ll find many more treasures:

Because of our location close to the mountains, skydiving and engine-less flight associations abound. Check your telephone book or electronic information service for contact information.


Hapdorn is well equipped with a commercial airport with daily flights to major world cities, and a private airport (Frono Field) for the independent-minded who fly their own craft.

It’s also easy to reach Hapdorn by car or tour bus, since the city is one of the major hubs in Thorgelfayne’s interprovincial highway system. Once in the city, driving is a delight: careful highway planning and the Hapdorn’s small size eliminate the traffic jams that plague other capital cities.

For geological and archaeological reasons, Hapdorn does not possess an underground train system. An efficient bus service transports its passengers quickly and inexpensively between destinations within the city limits, thirty-two hours a day. Two municipal light rail systems connect Hapdorn to neighboring towns and outlying areas.

One of the most pleasant ways of traveling in Hapdorn is by wave! Few Hapdorners can resist the temptation of demonstrating our legendary hospitality to visitors, which means that the average hitchhiker is picked up within eight minutes of soliciting a ride. (Data based on a Fifthmonth 4597 survey in downtown Hapdorn during the hours of eight to twenty-four o’clock.)

Places to Stay and Places to Eat in Hapdorn

Hapdorn is filled with hotels to suit every budget; however, tourists should not expect to spend much time there. Statistics show that most visitors to our city end their stay as guests in private homes.

Hapdorn does not offer the foreign visitor much variety in restaurant cuisine: most restaurants feature Hapdorn or Ranka provincial cuisine. A few restaurants feature Lake food; and there are several world-class restaurants with Halakanian and Fjarnian cuisine. Please consult your electronic information service or the restaurant directory in the back of your telephone book for locations and serving times.

Hapdorn nightlife is a disappointment for travelers used to more cosmopolitan cities. Basically, the city sleeps at night.

Religious Organizations in Hapdorn

All three of the major religions of Thorgelfayne are well represented in the Hapdorn metropolitan area. Worship Houses of Norda and Harnik, as well as Learning Centers of Ultimate Truth are located all over the city and in the suburbs, and are too numerous to be listed here. (Consult your telephone directory or electronic information service.) Visitors from other countries will not be disappointed on their holy days; nearly every religious group on Homeland holds services somewhere in or around the city.

The Hjork, a major religious shrine for members of Ultimate Truth, is located near the campus of Snodgrass University.

Hapdorn’s Media

Hapdorn boasts three daily newspapers, four local electronic information exchange service, and a large variety of television and radio stations. Hapdorn Television One, which is headquartered in the historic district, boasts that it is available to cable subscribers in ten surrounding countries.

In Emergencies

Of course, we hope that you will not experience any unpleasantness during your stay. However, we would be remiss if we did not inform you of the proper phone numbers.

Telephones in Thorgelfayne

All telephones inside the Imperial Duchy of Thorgelfayne (except in private residences) are required to be equipped with selector buttons to accommodate the handicapped and foreigners whose accents prevent them from using Voice Direct.

To reach a Fjarnian-speaking operator, select 000. If it is an emergency, select 00F for fire, rescue, and emergency medical services.

To place a local call within the Hapdorn and Suburban Calling Area, simply press the listed number.

To place a long distance call within the Duchy, consult the telephone directory for the correct numeric prefix for the city you wish to call.

You can place an international call by pressing 002 followed by the country code, then the full telephone number.

Although this little pamphlet hardly does our city justice, we hope that it will stimulate you to explore the treasures of Hapdorn on your own. Your hotel management welcomes you cordially and wishes you a pleasant stay. If we can assist you in any way, please do not hesitate to make your needs known to any staff member.